mmmm

macro to micro to macro to micro - mmmm, how what is happening revolves around what we all are together and how we have to take momentous responsibility for what we do, how we do, why we do and how it effects everybody/thing else or else.  "Else" meaning in this case, total self-anihilation.

i tried suicide a few times as a teenager.  how i failed and why are simple:  i do not want to die.  i want to be alive, i want to be aware, i want to learn how to live better and with empathy.  having suicidal thoughts brought shame to me but now i see that i was not the only one who had them and even now, being a part of our society, i stand by and watch our economy and everyday survival are unraveling and becoming so unstable, panic has set in.  No one does well under multiple pressures and multiple people under multiple pressures do worst of all.  How are we as citizens able to watch bailout hearings on cspan without walking away in disgust?  how and why we got here must be explored and solved but right now, we have to figure out how to socialize our lives in creative ways.  the rich are hateful but they are human just like us and they will not like being taxed at fair levels, so there will be much resistance to change at the level we need to bring our world back into a semblance of "growth".  just as growth in the last eight years was borrowed, the solution must be a tax increase.   why?  there are more out there than me who are self-destructive and stupid.  hello me, meet the world.  jeez.  we ARE in trouble.  we are optimistic as well.  

i know how i got here, how do i get there?